How Blessed Am I

My oldest brother, Randy, wrote me this poem.  He lives in England, and he got to meet my Tristan while he was still in my tummy this weekend.  I was super excited to see him for the first time in 3 years, and cannot wait until him and his family return in July.  I just wish I wasn't going to have empty arms.  I plan on reading this at Tristan's funeral, so a part of Randy can be there, and because it is so perfect.  For all you women that have lost a child, I hope this brings you as much comfort as it has me.

How Blessed Am I

How blessed am I

to be a part of God's plan

to carry a child

a perfect little man

The hands of God

have been at work in me

a creation so wonderfully and beautifully made

Sadly I am full of sorrow

for my child will not grow up

to live with me tomorrow

By heavens standards

he's perfect in every way

But on this Earth

he will not be allowed to stay

How can I be blessed

when I feel this much pain

It's hard to wrap my mind around it

I scream, I cry, and feel insane

My God, My God

have you forsaken me?

Why so soon

does he have to be with thee?

I do not understand

God's sovereign plan

Why does this child have to leave me?

Why does this have to be?

But I know of God's promise

a life beyond what we know

a place of rejoicing

where the faithful will surely go

So in the midst of my grief

I'll cling to his word

I'll still be kicking and screaming

But I know my prayers are heard

So how blessed am I?

So very much so

Even though I don't comprehend

it's more than I can ever know

For I was chosen by God

to help create a child

to carry an angel

even if only for a little while

By: Randy Leach